Sunday, March 15, 2009

Who is the most important person in the room?

A friend of mine never davens, even when he has yartzeit. His line is "my father made me an orphan, not a chazzan".

Furthermore, we are constantly bemoaning the lack of stature of our current leaders. My main opinion on that is for another post, but what is the relevance of the two points here?

I shall explain.

I was in shul this morning with a yartzeit davening. Sure enough, at the end of shemone esrai, the Rabbi finished significantly ( more than 1/2 a minute, at least) before the shliach Tzibbur. I pretty much figured that it would happen, having seen this person daven before, but I hoped that the basic understanding of both Tircha D'tzibura, as well as Kovod HoRav might kick in. Alas, I was disappointed.

This behavior could be excused in the case of someone who only davens on a Yartzeit, which is a couple of times a year. However, this becomes a bigger problem when a regular Baal Tefilla or Ovel davens. So why is it that so many people don't understand this basic problem? that they feel that they are the most important person in the room? That the entire minyan is subject to their wonderul Kavanah? I just don't get it.

I feel ( perhaps it is my background, that puts less stock in having a yartzeit or ovel daven) that is someone is incapable of finishing within the time limits set by the Rov finishing, or the majority of the Tzibbur, then they should forgo being the Shliach Tzibbur at that minyan or find another shul to daven for that Tefilla ( which raises a whole other issue about Omud hopping, but again, that is for another post)

How can we then wonder why are Rabbonim are not afforded the respect that they deserve if we don't insist on giving it to them? This problem of davening longer than a Rov is then compounded by the entire Tzibbur not telling off the baal Tefilo, and the gabbaim putting such a person up to daven again. The problem then becomes one of enormous proportions, as our children see this and think it is OK not to stand up for the Kovod of a Rov.


When I think about this, the future scares me.

4 comments:

  1. OK, now you're just scaring me!!!
    Are you sure you're not my husband's long lost twin?

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  2. This just happened in a shul hubs was davening in, but 1/2 a minute is nothing. This guy went 5 or 6 minutes longer than the Rav.

    When speaking about this with a relative of his also in attendance, that relative noted that when he was in his Ovel year he hastened his davening so as not to make the Tzibbur wait, because, he felt, that is what you ought to do.

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  3. Can't agree with you here

    1) Dont know what your background is but if it is anything like mine it puts great stock in an ovel or yahrzeit (bm) daven at the amud. They are recognized "Chiyuvim" in my shul. CHIYUVIM . that's a lot of stock

    2) I am vehemently opposed to having Shleechai Tzibur be forced to pay attention to anything other than their own prayers, I detest seeing clocks or watches on the omud it is way too distracting the Shatz has to daven also ( maybe more than everyone else, I dont know i'm a poshute baal habos - am haareaz) including the rabbi. In general rabbis will daven longer a shatz who does is not necessarily being arrogant or selfish, maybe the rabbi davens faster than most or davens faster occasionally because HE doesnt have the proper kavana- they are human after all - with improper kavanna from the rabbi and the shatz you may as well have the whole sheel sitting at the mizrach wall.

    So rant away blogger but I think you are misguided here.

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  4. Wolfman, I have to assume you are still in Purim mode. There are some communities where they do not let a Chiyuv daven for reasons that most communities do. For instance, in Washington Heights, a chiyuv does not daven on the shabbos before his Yartzeit, like in most other communities. They also do not let Aveilim daven when tachnun is not said, no matter what, including Friday afternoons.

    your position, and the spelling of shul, leads me to beleive that you are from a Chassidishe background, but that is incongruous with your Yeshivishe positions. SO I am confused.

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